Constantly and cyclically erupting and sinking back into a veil of fog. I feel like I'm way too old already.
I don't push myself to connect with people, but I always seem to be put into the position of absorbing them and understanding them in their own nuances. I still have trouble expressing myself honestly because I instantly think it won't be understood, so I dance around the words or make something up completely different, as an avoidance mechanism. A lot of things end up becoming avoidance mechanisms.
And when I reach those breaking points, the veil clears and I can see something different in myself. Even when you're thousands of years old, you still have growing to do. And it's no longer a question of ego or being accepted; of finding your place or surviving. I feel like I can reach closer to myself. But there's still a lot of distance to go.
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