Am I alone in here?

I can't stop your sadness.  I can't even stop my own.

I can barely hold my life together.  I can barely hold my mind together.  I can barely function.  I can barely pretend to be okay.  It never ends up mattering what I do.  My roads lead to the same place.  The same night.  The same feeling of churning, waiting to be okay, watching things get worse.  And I do what I think I should, no matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts.  I do what I think is best.  I leave the world behind, because I want something to come home to someday.  I don't think it'll ever be there.  I can barely delude myself to move forward.  I tried for a long time to put it all down, and pretend.  Years.  There's not just one thing.

I let my ears settle, and I forgot how to listen to white noise, and I remembered the screaming of my demons that has always been there, has always been getting slightly louder every day.  I'm waking up to the nightmare.  I hope you'll be alright in your own.