I'm trying to break myself of obsessive thoughts.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is hard to practice on yourself. But, I'm trying. I've always known that obsessing over the same things over and over make me feel worse, contribute to my anxiety and generally make me kind of crazy most of the time. But I have always had a certain comfort in it, as if it's something I can hold on to. Something I can hold on to while it destroys my psyche from the inside.
I want to meet a girl who interests me. I don't want flings, but at the same time, I do. I just want intimacy, even if I know it will be temporary. I feel kind of stupid admitting that.
I know that I have a personality that draws people in, when I can harness it and channel it correctly. I've always had that. I just need to force my own self-image out of my head, and focus on the world around me, and try harder to... not try so hard. To be honest, regardless of whether anyone agrees with it or understands it. Since when did I care so much about being accepted to the point that I filter my personality through it? It's pathetic. I have convinced myself that there isn't anyone out in the world that could possibly reflect my own level of being. Can that really be true?
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